Waking Up Crying

I went to bed after a long day of work and running errands. I fell asleep and dreamed that no one understood my pain, that until they watched their children’s father be lowered beneath the earth they would never know my pain. Some have whispered that I shouldn’t hurt like I do that we were divorced a long time before he died. However, I do, it’s been two years since that dreadful phone call and I’m still haunted in my dreams. I wake up feeling anxiety right away. I pray, I pray hard. I hear or felt I should turn to Proverbs 31, which I did. As I felt myself trying to lose my mind with thoughts of failure and how terrible things feel this morning and i’m never going to shake this anxiety and panic mode, I told Jesus, by your stripes I am healed. Wow, just like that after several minutes of panic, my mind was at ease, the panic had passed. And this is how my day started out. I’ve made sure my child has transportation to and from the band competition and now I’m at work taking care of 20 plus patients. I will survive this.